Pieces of me………

Newspaper reports today that we should be careful of people asking for directions due to the fact that a lot of undesired things have happened to people while they gave assistance in giving directions. Many of these helpful people have fallen victims to robbers, rapist, and muggers…such a statement really scares me. It shows how dangerous it is these days to be out alone.

Looks like people are very cautious these days. One of the precautions they will be taking is not to talk to strangers because you would not really know what their intentions are. Isn’t it crazy? Fear seems to be preventing people from helping others because they do not know if those who asks for help are genuine cases or are they up to no good. I’m terribly bothered by such issues and I guess I really have to be willing to take the risk if I decide that I want to help another being whom I don’t know.

Just imagine, if I get stranded someday nobody wants to help me because they are afraid that i might hurt them. Whew, I don’t want that to happen at all.

I’m not a paranoid but today, I was made to believe that Friday 13th is a bad luck day for me, full of bad omens. First thing was that i had tons of work to do, then after working hard for half of the day, the stupid office computer got jammed and i lost all my work. Wow, i wanted so much to scream but there were too many people outside so i just kept my frustrations to myself. Could not have lunch becoz i did not finish my work. Then went to the toilet only to realize that there was no water…..Sigh…..

It did not end there, at night, while i was going to South City Plaze with my friend, I lost my balance on the bike and accidently knock the view mirror of a car. It was no big deal coz i did not damage anything but hey i did not feel good knocking that mirror…..oh my what a day.

I was walking out for lunch today and a guy smiled at me, I waved and smiled back and casually asked how was he. He was an African footballer whom I once helped and often see around my working place. Suddenly, he asks me: “are you married?” I replied no. Then he asks me if I would marry him. I stared at him and wanted to ask him if he was crazy, but then on second thoughts I asked him how old he was. He told me he was 18 and I told him that it was impossible that I would marry him. I was not flatted at all with his proposal, instead I felt disgusted.

He did not give up. He kept on demanding for a reason why I would not marry him and it took me half and hour to convince him that it was not logical for me to marry him and that “Will you marry me” is not something you ask a stranger.

I’m still very stunt over that incident and to be frank, I suddenly feel insecure. Every morning, I’m alone in the office and I really hope this guy will not come and look for me again. I wonder what was in his mind when he proposed to me. Is it their culture to do so? Did he know what he was doing? Was he just trying to be funny? Is he sane? Or perhaps not matured in his way of thinking? Sigh…..what a day

It feels so good to know that people care for me. I’ve been sick for 2 days and also have been scolded by some people for not looking after myself properly. Each time i go back, i hear naggings. I’m just plain stubborn i guess.. ….but then again its my choice, i choose not to see the doctor because i know it won’t make much difference…..i’m trying to convince them that i’m okie and i know what i’m doing but they just keep on nagging….guess it’s because they care…..so ………..hai…..let it be lah

I’m having some sore throat and aint feeling that good with abit of fever and am feeling that there’s some flam in my breathing system. Sigh…..

……..today, i told myself that i need to learn to live my own life, loving myself because like my housemate said, the only person who can only accompany me 24hours a day is me myself and I. Therefore, i must learn to enjoy my own company and fully love myself if i want to enjoy life fully…..it might not be that easy to achieve but i’m going to try hard to appreciate myself and believe in the things that i do….wish me luck

My job is unique and sometimes i’m being put into situations whereby I feel so lost and am uncertain on how i should react. I’m a campus minister and basically, my job is to serve the student community. Yet, it is not that simple as it seems to be. People from all walks of life drop by at my office and sometimes the assistance that they ask from me is not within my job scope. Today, a Liberian came to my office seeking for assistance. He does not have a passport and he wanted me to help him to get a passport. I felt so lost, so much so that I did not know how to react. He convinced me that he was sincere and really needed assistance but i was really not in the position to help him. We spoke for nearly 1/2 and hour and i really felt sorry that i had to deny him from any assistence.

I wondered how did he get into Malaysia in the 1st place without proper documents and how did he survived all these while. There are abundant problems around and there are so many people who seems to need assistence. Some people are truly sincere in their cry for help while others take advantage of the compassion that we have. I find it so hard to determind which of these cases are genuine and which are fake.

I could just close my eyes and help everybody innocently but, i have limited ability to do so, in fact, i could also get myself into trouble. Goodness gracious, why must life be so complicated?

Life is normal but i think i sorta like how it is at the very moment because I’m kindda happy and i know why I’m happy but i shan’t tell :Þ……

……..anyway the hike on the bus fare really makes me sad. Nowadays, it costs me RM 5 per day to go to work by bus. I took the commuter instead today and it cost me RM 1 to get to bandar tasik selatan and another RM 1.70 to get to Masjid Jamek by LRT which to me is pretty cheap because the journey only took me half and hour. If I were to take the bus, it would cost me RM 2.50 for an 1 hour journey…so….hmmmmm….i might just consider taking the Commuter to work….but i need to get a bike 1st to get me to the commuter station =)

My personal belief and quote of the day: "Love yourself and you will learn to love others, love others because loving only yourself will not make you a very happy person"