Pieces of me………

I was 21 years old when I first saw a sex worker. She was probably in her mid-30’s. She was clad in a pair of running shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt. There were rashes all over her body except for her face which was dry and wrinkled. She was eating in a shop with her customer and I felt disgusted towards him. His hands were touching all over her thighs. I wondered if he was that desperate to that extend, that any girl would do as long as he could satisfy his lust. Probable he was stingy too, that’s why he chose her.

I felt pity for her. She looked so damaged and fake. She forced a smile each time he put his hands on her legs and tried her very best to keep the conversations going. I am not fluent in Cantonese but I could catch a word of two. I wondered if he had a wife, why was he so horny, “Si Lang Mo Ki Chiew” I thought to myself. A term used by my mother to describe men who were horny and loved to molest women.

I wondered why she did this to herself. Why damage her own body? I wondered how did she feel each time she looked into the mirror.

Today, as I accompanied a few youths on a guided tour into the red light areas of Bukit Bintang, I remembered that lady. Our mission tonight was to observe the sex workers and the activities that took place in the heart of Kuala Lumpur at night. Brother Raj our guide took us to the areas where such activities were high. He gave a little explanation on the background of the spots. Some areas were picking up points for young and beautiful ladies while certain areas were popular for cheap retired ladies.

Retired ladies can be as young as 22 years old, they are those whose bodies are no longer beautiful and fail to generate high amount of income for the pimps. These women either have lost their attractiveness or have failed to satisfy their customers on bed or have contacted certain sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS. Though they are unappealing, these women are still in demand for those who want cheap and quick sex. Young boys and inexperienced men who are naive on matters related to this trade sometimes are cheated by the pimps and they end up with these women as well.

I asked Brother how these women ended up in such trades. His reply struck me. He said: ‘Nobody in the right sense of mind would choose a like this.’ Many are forced into this trade. Some were betrayed by their own friends and loved ones, some came in to repay debts (their own or husband’s/ boyfriend’s), some were forced into it, and some were cheated…..and so on and so forth. Those who came in voluntarily thought things were simple; they never expected the situation to become so complicated.

I had many things in my mind but what I think troubled me the most was the retired sex workers. Some are as young as 22 years old, an age where people are just beginning to appreciate and experience the beauty of life. Girls at this age, meet boyfriends that pamper and love them, these women don’t even get to feel loved. Some girls at 22 are experiencing campus life, meeting new friends, learning new things. These women have nothing much to discover except for the men who treats them as objects and toy that satisfies their lust. A girl at 22, knows what it feels to be home, to be able to enjoy the company of their parents and siblings. These women’s families might not even know their whereabouts; some might have even been rejected by their own families. At the age of 22, life is so broken, so miserable. They might have earned a lot of money but probable 70% of their income went to the pimps and agents. Lets say they have RM 10 000 in their account, so what? They can’t even use the money to enjoy life or even go for a holiday, because someone is watching them. If I were in their shoes for one day, I don’t think I could even survive, what more for the next 10, 20, 30years of their lives? What did they do to deserve a life like this?

Many people call sex workers cheap and give them many names, but do we really understand the pain that they are going through?

Nature at work in a polluted pond at the Farm