Pieces of me………

Today, something happened. I was disappointed over a situation and my mind was disturbed. I thought I would find peace as I read today’s Gospel but I guess I was wrong. My mind was so focused on the whole situation that the Gospel could not speak to me. Each time I tried to reflect on the Gospel reading, my mind could only relate to the problem that was in my head. I wanted the Gospel to so much relate to my problem that I refused to understand the message of today’s Gospel.

I realized that perhaps this is what has been happening to me in life. Sometimes, I desire and focus too much on certain things that I just ignore and miss out in appreciating other things that life has to offer.

There are sometimes, when I am so in love with a certain individual, things or task that I just neglect the other people, events or even things that are around me. I give myself so wholeheartedly to what I love that I fail to give myself a chance discover and to experience other things that evolve around my life.

I am what I am today is because of my past, the past that has formed me to be what I am today. The values that I hold with me were cultivated from the past but this obsession of mine towards the treasures in my life I am not sure if it is from the past.

I used to be easygoing, open-minded, non-cliquish, and non-possessive but I suspect I’m beginning to be the opposite of what I was. Well, I used to be innocent and naïve that’s why I was free. Today, I am not that naïve and innocent anymore, I have experienced things in life and perhaps I am the opposite of what I was because I am trying to protect myself from experiencing the unpleasant things in life. People say, “The older you get, the wiser you become” well, I fear that’s not what’s happening to me. I am loosing my own freedom to myself…I am scared….but I believe in the song that I sing

With you by my side

When I’m feeling all alone

And I’m far away from home

God I need You to hear me

When my friends all turn away

Then I ache to hear You say

That You are with me through it all

Chorus:

You are the light You’re the song that I’m singing

Whom should I fear when You are with me

For You are my God

And with You that is nothing I can’t do

With You by my side

When I feel all sick inside

With no safe place to hide

God I need You to listen

When it seems I can’t go on

Then I long to hear the song

Reminding that You are my friend

And as I go through my life

I will keep You in my sight

To walk with me and be my strength

God I know Your plan for me

To help all those in need

To You alone I give my life

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